Feelings!

Woke up this morning feel, not bad, sad, depressed or nasty! Feeling unloved, used and uninspired!

I think these feeling are the worst feelings to feel.. Unloved, Used and Uninspired.. I make it a habit to always be the best that I can be and live the best life I can live but today I just feel so defeated!! DEFEATED!!

I know there a lot of things in MY life that's not perfect and needs to be worked on or just changed!!

So today, well this morning I'm going to lay back relax and think.. Maybe sleep and dream because a lot of things comes to me in my dreams.. Hopefully later I'll be feeling Loved and inspired..

Blessing
XOXO
Nicole

Knitting...

Ok lately I've been back to knitting and every project I started messed up1 I don't know what has been going wrong. I'm really starting to get fustrated! I did a cowl.. Honeycomb Cowl the yarn turned out to be to thick.. So I took the cowl out.. I'm going to do the honeycomb cowl again just thinner yarn.

Started a new cowl called The Bandana Cowl.. Came out wrong too.. took that out last night.. Think I'm going to get smaller needles, instead of a size 10.5" 16" circular needles I'm going down to a 9" 16" circular needles..

So last night I started a scarf for my son and I messed up in the beginning.. OH boy

So I think I need another breather from knitting but I don't want too.. Someone please help me...

RIP Nette

7 years ago I lost my big cousin Annette Burgess but everybody called her Nette.. I'll never forget that phone call, it was about 12pm November 5, 2004 that my cousin was dead.. (and that call threw me straight into a 4 day labor with my first born son) She was murder by her ex boyfriend, the night before during a basketball game. He shot her 5 times in her back. He couldn't face her while he took her life! Not that it would have been any better. Still to this day I can't/we can't understand why he did what he did because this man loved her so much and we as a family loved him too!

The things I miss about her the most is her honesty! No matter what she spoke the truth. I also miss her Crazy funky style! Boy oh boy did she dress her ass off! Fly clothes too. She was also a very supportive and loving person. Always had my back and tough me a lot about life and what things not to do! The part that hurts me the most is that when she passed away I was upset with her because she didn't come to my baby shower! She didn't come because she didn't have a gift! I don't care, I don't care she should have been there because she always supported me no matter what and I was hurt.. No gift just her! But if I could I wouldn't be upset with her because I love my cousin and i just wanted her there with me. And she never got to meet my son! Give him a funny name and sneak him candy lol.. And play with him. So many new babies as been born in our family and she's not here to play with the kids. She loved new babies and when the babies is born she was at your house teaching you how to care for the baby! Smelling there feet and in between there toes and stuff lol.. Dam I'm crying just writing this.

I love you Aungie and I know she is very proud of you right now! You turned out to be a beautiful young women..

I have to go! Love you Nette forever and a day!